Everybody Farts

Daughter: Justin farts. He's always farting. He's the only one in my class who farts.

Mother: Trust me, he's not the only one that farts. Everyone farts, it's just that not everyone calls attention to it like him.

Daughter: Well, here's Justin's valentine card. It's going to be hard giving it to him... since he farts. Oh yeah, he doesn't believe in God either.

Mother: Did you ask him why he didn't believe in God?

Daughter: Yes, I did and he said he could believe anything he wanted to do.

A farting atheist? I didn't think the school was that diverse.

Life Expectancy of a Rural White Girl

Daughter: Mom do you think I'll reach the big 2-0?

Mom: What do you mean, are you asking will you turn 20 years old?

Daughter:: Yes, do you think I'll make it to 20?

Mom: Of course, honey, why would you think you wouldn't?

Daughter: Well, you never know.... something could happen. You know how gangs are becoming more popular.

Mom: Gangs?!? Where on earth would you get the idea that gangs are something you have to fear?

Daughter: Officer Scaresalot came to our class today and talked about gangs.

Mom: What did he say about gangs?

Daughter: He said they can come into your neighborhood. Andy said gangs were in our neighborhood.

Mom: There are no gangs in our neighborhood. You don't have to worry.

Daughter: Well, I thought I saw a gang.

Mom: Where?

Daughter: On the other street, there was a group of boys walking.

Mom:. I don't think we have anything to worry about. The officer is just trying to tell kids what to look out for and to why you should stay out of gangs. A group of boys walking does not make them a gang. Maybe a group of hoodlums but not a gang. (said to herself) At least I hope not....