Panhandler Etiquette

A couple of weeks ago when was returning home from shopping at Target and eating lunch at McDonalds (I share this information because it seems rather ironic considering what happens next)..... I exited the interstate and stopped about 3 cars back at the stop light at the end of the off ramp. There was a panhandler perched at this corner holding up a sign that indicated that he was a Vietnam Vet and his years of service, that he was homeless and waiting on his VA/Social Security and needed help, and finally God Bless.

Now someone please inform me of proper panhandler etiquette because I think I must have violated some code. I did read his sign, however I did not stare at him for any length of time. I mean pandhandlers are not sideshow freaks that are to be stared at. But for some reason this behavior seemingly agitated him. At first I wasn't sure if he was trying to communicate to the driver in the car in front of me, or if he was directing his displeasure at me. But he started swaying his arms, yelling(which I could not hear because the windows were rolled up), and turned his sign backwards so I could not longer see the writing and pointed emphatically at the empty sign. This angered him even more as he realized his message was not being received and then turned his sign back around and this time pointed at the now upside down message.

From what I can surmise he was angry because his sign wasn't being read, and therefore his plight was not fully understood and appreciated by the drivers waiting at the stoplight. Then he stood up, still still looking very agitated, and started swinging his arms even more and slapping his head as if he was trying to vicariously knock some sense into the selfish and uncaring heads that refused to give his sign the proper attention he felt it needed. Finally the light changed to green and we were able to finally escape the wrath of Agitated Homeless Vietnam Vet. He yelled some more as we passed and needless to say I was relieved. I still don't know if he was angry with me or everyone at the stoplight.

Then a few days later I was heading home this way (which is a way I don't normally take home, other than if visiting Target) and had forgotten that he might be there waiting to yell at me again. This time I pulled up and decided I wouldn't avoid looking at him so that he wouldn't think I was trying to ignore that some people don't have it as good as I do. I looked at him dead on and he waved at me. I waved back and he didn't get agitated.

This incident got me to thinking some more about those less fortunate that myself. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, a car, a good stable job, good health, a family that loves me, and other creature comforts that I may take for granted. I forget sometimes there are others who struggle with issues that cause them to become and remain homeless. I do feel for these people, but I also have some skepticm about panhandlers. I give to charity every year, I donate to food banks throughout the year, and do what I can to share what little I have. But I do wonder how to respond to those who beg for money and handouts.

It reminds me of one time when in college and going to the McDonalds. A lady came up to me and said she was pregnant and hungry. Although I was a poor college student at the time who rationed out food money, I offered to buy her something at McDonalds. Thats when she told me that she didn't like McDonalds, she liked Hardees. Now if you were really pregnant and really hungry would you be picky about what fast food joint you dined at? This really made an impression on me about panhandlers in general. Now I know there are some really down on their luck people who deserve a break, but we have many resources in our town to assist homeless people get on their feet. The philosophy of this organization is not to give hand outs but instead to help people learn how to sustain on their own. But those people who feel like their entitled to a handout or who don't take advantage of the formal and structured resources for homeless people is what bothers me.

I'm not passing judgement on Agitated Homeless Vietnam Vet. There could be a multitude of reasons that he has to beg for money at interstate exits. But judging from the 20 loaves of bread he left on his corner this weekend, I'm guessing he's not going hungry tonight, or maybe he just doesn't like bread.

I guess it's just people driving around in their Volvos and mini vans and refusing to look at him that pisses him off, not that they're not handing out money.

The Breakup

Darlings,
It is with great sadness that I must write this letter to you. I never thought it would come to this, but I must take drastic measures. So, I am preparing to say good bye to you.

When I was a young girl I dreamed I would have you, in fact most young girls hope to one day have one as generous and ample as you. But, it has come to this because I can no longer support you. At first I was willing to do that, but now you have just become too much of a burden. With each passing year it has become harder and harder to hold you up and to show the world what you have.

But most importantly, along with you comes many other negative things that I can no longer tolerate. Actually, I know you are a part of me because of those negative things-gluttony and overindulgence... oh, don't forget sloth and laziness. That's two of the seven deadly sins that you have come to represent. So you have to understand why I must give you up.

It will be a gradual breakup. It will start with me being more responsible and resisting those past temptations. My hope is that you will slowly disappear from my life. Becoming more and more scarce until you are no longer there- in everyone's face.

So, goodbye boobies, you have been a part of my life for so long now. But I have grown tired of shopping for full figure bras. I am making changes in my life that should force you out of my life. They say you lose weight from the top down, and I'm counting on that to facilitate this breakup.

Fare thee well!