A Tropical Plant Scheme

Before I had a kid I sometimes wondered if I did have a kid, what would it be like? I suppose all of us who plan to have kids contemplate this at one time or another. You, of course, want all your best qualities to be given to this kid. But, you know the warning that you're going to get a difficult kid if you were a difficult kid so as to pay you back for all the hell you put your parents through, so they can sit back and feel a little self satisfied that what goes around, comes around? It's true to some extent. But I thought that since I was such a good kid, that I wouldn't have to worry about that. Well, you just might have to pay for the other parent's mistakes. So be forewarned!

I really can't complain about my kid too much. She really is, underneath it all, a sweet kid. She is thoughtful and sensitive (she gets that from me) and persistent and competitive (she gets that from somewhere else). She loves animals and wants to be a vegetarian because she doesn't like the idea of eating animals, which is going to be hard since chicken is about one of the only things she eats. She also wants to be veterinarian when she grows up, (or a movie star -she's still deciding). She cares about people. In fact, in kindergarten the best feedback I got from her teacher, was how nice she was to Ally-the little girl in her class with Down's syndrome. My kid protected her and made sure the other kids were nice to her. You see, you can always hope that your kid is smart, but what's really important is that your kid has empathy for others.

However, with this sensitivity comes a price. She is very dramatic and quick to react to things as if the world was coming to a halting and abrupt end. My daughter is seven now, and I thought that meltdowns were supposed to be a thing of the past. I got through the terrible twos and even survived the very terrible threes-Trust me on that one.

The persistence/competitive thing can be good too. I like that she has the determination to face most anything. But that she has to make a competition out of any and everything can get a little tiresome. So, you see your kid may not get all your best qualities, but he/she is going to get something from you most likely and unfortunately you can't hand pick them or send them back for a better model.

Anyway, the point of this whole post was to talk about my kid's latest scheme. Because when you have a sweet, sensitive, persistent, competetive kid, the following just might happen.

This past weekend my kid goes to play with the little girl down the street, but she is not home. So she ends up coming back home with the boy from across the street-who incidentally is 3 years older than her. Well, they have this plan. They're going to wash cars in the neighborhood-for a small fee-and donate the money to the animal shelter. Awwww, isn't that cute? Their bright idea was to make posters and hang them up over the neighborhood. So I send them outside to work on this project with plenty of paper and markers and crayons. When I go back to check on them, they're gone.

After a few hours elapse I begin to worry about where my kid is and go look for her. Then I see her, walking down the street with her wagon hauling a huge tropical potted plant.

Where the hell did that come from?

Evidently, her and the boy had found a customer and had washed their car-she also had a zip loc baggie with $15 dollars in in-$5 for her $5 for the boy and $5 for the animal shelter and most likely leftover Halloween candy (leftover? there's no such thing in my house). But that customer had ulterior motives. They gave the plant to my kid to sell for $10, so she can donate the proceeds to the orphanage.

Yeah, that's real cute in theory, too.

But, this means several things to me-

1) The original tropical plant owner just pawned their unwanted junk on me.

2).What the hell am I going to do with a tropical potted plant-I don't have green thumb you see & escaped Florida to get away from tropical foilage,

and the worst one

3) My kid is knocking on all the neighbors doors trying to sell this unwanted plant.

So far she hasn't had any customers and I cringe at the idea of her continuing to bug the neighbors.

But then I remembered participating in these types of schemes before, when I was a kid. My best friend and I had a lemonade stand, we even had a garage sale and sold our old junk. We ended up getting in a fight over the proceeds which ended with my friend throwing the quarter we were fighting over in the bushes. I have no idea why were fighting over this quarter in the first place.

I also remember my cousins and me knocking on doors in their neighborhood soliciting money for Jerry's kids. We obviously were not representing a charitable organization and the only cause the money was going for was for candy and sweets for underprivileged kids-us. Our plan was eventually foiled by an astute neighbor who asked for our membership cards to prove that we were actually representing a charity. We, for one second, tried to make these cards, but ended up abandoning that plan. I can't say that I'm real proud of that one now.

Anyway, I do feel proud that my kid wants to do nice things for other people. But I still wrestle with the dilemma of supporting my kid but yet protecting my neighbors from her kid schemes.

Needless to say I'm getting real sick of looking at that plant on my porch.

Any takers? It's for a good cause.