Third Grade Curriculum: Gender Bending
My daughter has just begun her 3rd grade year. Because of school overcrowding & teacher shortages, she has been placed in a mixed 3rd and 4th grade classroom this year. Which is actually a bit troubling because she may be introduced to fourth grade material that I'm not that ready for her to cover yet. Here are a few examples:
Daughter: Moriah's brother said Mr. Nixon is gay. (Mr. Nixon is another 3rd grade teacher).
Me: Really? Do you know what it means to be "gay?"
Daughter: Yes, it means he likes boys and acts like a girl.
Me: And what about Mr. Nixon makes people think he's gay?
Daughter: Because he wears tight pants.
I guess this presented me an opportunity to talk to my daughter about stereotypes and judgements about people. So I told her that there are many gay people who don't necessarily look like they're gay. And likewise there are many people that may wear tight pants that are not gay. In other words there are some people who you may assume to be gay (I'm thinking Frank from Trading Spaces who has a wife, but I guess that's not guarantee either) that are not gay at all. The important thing I wanted her to know is that she should not assume that someone is gay by the way they look, nor should she treat them any differently or make fun of them because of this.
The other thing that opened up a conversation about grown up topics is the magazines my daughter has brought home. Evidently there is a boy on her bus who has given her an In Touch and a Life & Style magazine. I asked her who she got them from and she said it was from "the boy on the bus who wants to be a girl." I asked her why she referred to him as that and she said because he said it. He also told her that he tries on his grandmothers bras and panties. DISTURBING! Not because he's doing it, but because it prompts me to have to talk about cross dressing now. And because now my daughter is talking about celebrities like they're her girlfriends now. Like for instance:
"Do you think Justin and Vanessa are going to get married?"
or
"Do you think that Nicole is going to die because she is losing so much weight?'
or
"I like Jessica's booty better than J-Lo's."
And don't get me started on the picture of Xtina and Madonna making out that is still circulated in the tabloids in honor (and I use that term loosely) of the MTV video music awards.
I wasn't ready for that subject either.
Daughter: Moriah's brother said Mr. Nixon is gay. (Mr. Nixon is another 3rd grade teacher).
Me: Really? Do you know what it means to be "gay?"
Daughter: Yes, it means he likes boys and acts like a girl.
Me: And what about Mr. Nixon makes people think he's gay?
Daughter: Because he wears tight pants.
I guess this presented me an opportunity to talk to my daughter about stereotypes and judgements about people. So I told her that there are many gay people who don't necessarily look like they're gay. And likewise there are many people that may wear tight pants that are not gay. In other words there are some people who you may assume to be gay (I'm thinking Frank from Trading Spaces who has a wife, but I guess that's not guarantee either) that are not gay at all. The important thing I wanted her to know is that she should not assume that someone is gay by the way they look, nor should she treat them any differently or make fun of them because of this.
The other thing that opened up a conversation about grown up topics is the magazines my daughter has brought home. Evidently there is a boy on her bus who has given her an In Touch and a Life & Style magazine. I asked her who she got them from and she said it was from "the boy on the bus who wants to be a girl." I asked her why she referred to him as that and she said because he said it. He also told her that he tries on his grandmothers bras and panties. DISTURBING! Not because he's doing it, but because it prompts me to have to talk about cross dressing now. And because now my daughter is talking about celebrities like they're her girlfriends now. Like for instance:
"Do you think Justin and Vanessa are going to get married?"
or
"Do you think that Nicole is going to die because she is losing so much weight?'
or
"I like Jessica's booty better than J-Lo's."
And don't get me started on the picture of Xtina and Madonna making out that is still circulated in the tabloids in honor (and I use that term loosely) of the MTV video music awards.
I wasn't ready for that subject either.
posted by amyd | 2:40 PM
2 Comments:
Geez. Kids really are exposed to very adult topics at quite a bit younger age than I am comfortable with. You are really fortunate that your daughter shares these things with you so that you have an opportunity to talk. I found it much easier to talk with my kids about something when they declared it "open territory" - strike while the iron is hot, as my mom would say.
Gotta find the silver lining somewhere. And yes, I am glad she still lets me in. Don't know how many more years of that we have left.
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