All in the Same Day

Do you have a relative or friend who has an annoying saying? You know what I mean, some inane motto that you can always count on them saying. My father-in-law has one of those and that is the inspiration for the title of this post. My husband told me when we first met that his dad would always say "All in the same day" anytime they came home from an outing. I'm not really sure what it means other than "we jam packed all that fun stuff into just one day and now we're home." The confusing part is that he sometimes says it after a weekend trip or a week long trip to a foreign country. For my husband and me, it soon became one of our inside jokes. We can predict when it's gonna be said and we inevitably kick each other or give each other a knowing look when it's finally uttered. So this post is going to catch you up on what's been going on all in the same day.

It has been some time since I have had time to post. As you already know from my last post, we got a puppy the week before last and she has been keeping us very busy. I was worried after the first weekend with her because she liked to bite and would take a helluva a long time to do her business, except when she snuck away and did it in the corner of my dining room when I wasn't looking. She was quick as a flash that time. Despite the challenges, things have been going very well with her and she is settling into our family. And just like motherhood I have come to realize that I still do most of the work. However the upside is that I don't have to vacuum and sweep near as much as I used to. This doggie vaccum will sniff and lick up whatever comes across her path regardless of edibility.

I also got a haircut! Yes, I finally did it. I had at least 15 inches taken off my head and I feel about 50 pounds lighter. It really wasn't as tragic as I thought it would be. It has taken me some time to get used to the look of shorter hair, but it really feels much better. I'm saving tons of money on shampoo and conditioner and other hair related products. It takes me seconds to comb through it now as opposed to the 15 minute time frame it used to take. You see there are many advantages to this haircut. And now there will be some cancer patient somewhere wearing my hair on their head, so my hair didn't go to waste. And I did my good deed for the month.

The other exciting events to report on include a whirlwind trip to Florida this past weekend. My husband's cousin got married in Naples on Saturday so we flew down to attend. It's a long story, but we got standby passes to fly so I will provide you with our itinerary.

Thursday, March 2 2:00-Get off work to get eyebrows waxed and don't understand what the esthetician is saying because of the mask she is wearng and possibly the language barrier. When in doubt ask pardon me and then if you still don't understand just smile and say yes. Call husband to let him know that his sister said the afternoon flight we are planning on taking to Orlando is pretty full and we would do better flying out tomorrow morning. Make decision to enjoy the afternoon and leave tomorrow morning. Finish packing, watch the sunset over Red Mountain out my bedroom window with the warm breeze blowiing through open windows. Life is good.

Friday, March 3 4:30 am in the morning-Roll out of bed to start the trip to the airport. Flight leaves at 7:55 so we have to get to airport by 6:00 am. Groggily drive, argue with husband over where the off site parking lot is. I'm right, but he doesn't listen so we just park at the airport lot and will spend much more on parking.

6:00 am-Go to ticket counter get passes and go through airport security. It's our lucky day! We get pre-selected for extra security screening. We have our shoes tested for explosives. They open our bags and test the contents for residue as well. We even get a pat down. I totally understand why they have to do this, so I'm not complaining. But they didn't check anything on my daughter. (Because terrorists would never endanger the lives of children to carry out their diabolical plans.)

7:55 am-After boarding the plane late (My husband always picks the wrong time to use the bathroom) we don't get to sit next to each other and my daughter does not get a window seat. At least my husband is across the aisle from us and we did get on the plane (for free) so we are grateful and on our way to Orlando. I'm am not an airplane talker. Usually I bring some reading material and bury my nose in a magazine or book. But this time I hold a conversation with the college boy sitting in our row. We talk about sports-he attends NC State so I razz him about that a little. He golfs and majors in bio-chemistry. He tells me about his tough classes and plans for med school. Like I said I am not a talker but it passes the time along with games of hangman with my daughter.

10:40-Arrive in Orlando and wander towards rental car counter, wait in long line, my husband uses the wrong credit card and doesn't pre-pay for gas. Ugh! This is why I should take care of things, but I get tired of it sometimes and want him to have a little initiative in dealing with service related things. The rental car woman gives fuzzy directions to the lot. Go up one level and out across to the parking lot. So we go up one level but you can't cross there. She should have said go out, cross to the parking lot and then go up one level. It really makes a difference.

11:00-Arrive at the gates of the Magic Kindgom. I feel like a kid again. We park in the Minnie lot and take the tram to the gates. I packed way too much stuff in my purse today and it feels very heavy but we're at freaking Disney so things are simply magical. My daughter becomes extremely upset that she can't ride on the outside seat of the tram. For goodness sakes she will have plenty of thrilling rides-it's just the stupid tram. We get fingerprinted to get in the park and my husband and I discuss the reasons why. He thinks to keep pedophiles out of the park, most likely it's to verify re-entry. Mystery Mister Ra!

11:00am-7:30pm-Spend all day at the Magic Kindgom. We hit Adventure Land first. We ride the Jungle Cruise and endure all the lame, stale jokes and puns of the cruise guide. We climb the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse(I always thought that was boring). The Pirates of the Carribbean is closed for refurbishing-big disappointment. I love that ride! We skipped the Tiki Room. That was my Mom's favorite thing and we always had to attend that show. Not this time though-thankfully.

We head to Frontierland and go on Big Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain. Fortunately we don't get soaked like the boat ahead of us. The Haunted Mansion is filled with a screaming gaggle of girls-The Whipserettes to be exact. To be young & silly again. We hit Fantasy Land and go on It's a Small World, Snow White's Scary Adventures, The Carousel. We skip Peter Pan and will come back later for that.

Have lunch-surprisingly not to expensive and fairly tasty. Then on the Tomorrow Land and Space Mountain. Wheeeeee! My daughter wants to ride again, we promise we will go again. We also saw Mickey's Philharmagic 3D spectacular. It's pretty good actually. We also went to Tom Sawyer's Island and explore the caves and mines and quite spots on the island away from the aimless masses that frequent the park. Big Thunder Mountain one more time. This time my daughter and me lift our hands on the down hill-we're getting brave. Almost lose my daughter's Mickey Mouse ears. But tragedy is narrowly averted thanks to a quick grab.

Take my advice and skip the Winnie the Pooh ride and the Stitch's Great Escape. The Winnie the Pooh line was the only line that moved way too slow and it was a big disappointment considering the wait and more importantly because they replaced Mr. Toad's Wild Ride with this boring display. The Great Escape was disappointing too. Not much happened except for smelling gross burps. Try it and you will see what I mean.

We try to get on Space Mountain one more time before we leave. A young girl is being coaxed on the ride by her father, but he finally removes her after she starts crying. Lucky for her though. We are on the ride ready for take off but it's taking way too long to get off. Finally an employee comes by and tells us that a chain came loose on our track and the ride will have to be reset. Mind you there are people inside the ride (which the scared girl is thankfully not a part of), quite possibly in the middle of dark turns or thrilling descents who are just stuck there. They have to manually pull all the cars down and will reset the ride. We get good news and bad news. The good news is that because of the delay we will get two rides. The bad news is that we are the guinea pig run. Just when the ride gets cranked up to go another employee pushes the wrong button and the entire ride shuts down. There will be no Space Mountain voyage today, so we go on Big Thunder Mountain once more. This time it is dark and the park looks beautiful. The castle is lit up with changing colors.

This might just be the happiest place on earth- despite the stupid walkers who stop right in the middle of walkways and the crying kids who really need a nap. We promise my daughter a lollipop in exchange for skipping the fireworks. I would love to stay but we've been going since 4:30. It's been a long day & we have to find a hotel for the night on our way down to Naples-(a three hour drive). We forget the lollipop, but because Disney executives are a smart marketing bunch there is a last chance gift shop as you leave for the parking lot. Whew! Misery and dramatics are averted once again.

7:30-Depart from Disney and head towards Naples. We plan to stop maybe in Tampa but bypass all the travel hotels. We end up near Bradenton but the hotels are either way too expensive or have no vacancy. I have to tell you that being cranky and tired and trying to find a hotel is no fun. We stop at several more exits and still can't find one. Left turn lanes are even more frustrating as we wait at busy intersections to turn around and head back to the interstate.

March 4 12:00 am We finally stop in Naples and get a room with a balcony. As we sit on the balcony drinking beers and thankful that we are finally stopped for the night we see a car pull up to the front desk. A girl gets out and stumbles on her shoe. She picks up the shoe and hurls it at the guy in the car. Guy in car chucks it right back at her. She limps her way into the office and disappears. Guy in car sits and waits. My husband and I joke that they must be going through the same ordeal we just went through with finding a place to stay. Fortunately for us we did not resort to violence and therefore avoid a domestic dispute that requires law enforcement intervention because of it . Guy in car finally pulls away and parks. Shoe is still on ground. Girl walks out of office limping with one shoe and looking rather pathetic. Guy who is now out of car shouts after her, but she avoids him and enters an area we can't view. Not too long after that a police car pulls up and circles the parking lot. This is an exciting show, but we don't get to see what happens beyond that.

10:00-Venture to breakfast bar and my waffle almost gets stolen by a girl. When the waffle iron is closed that means someone else is cooking their waffle. Her mother looks like a biker, so I better not get smart though.

11:00-Check out and head to hotel where in-laws are staying. Mother-in-law presents my daughter with a huge shopping bag of Christmas presents. I know it's March, but since we didn't see them this year and since my mother in-law is too cheap to mail them, my daughter gets Christmas in March and we have to lug all the booty back on the plan. The wedding is at 1:00 so we gotta get moving.

12:15-Leave for church and follow father-in-law. He takes us to the wrong church. A senior moment as he calls it. They hold the wedding up for us to arrive. We are 10 minutes late but we finally make it. It's a traditional Catholic ceremony so there is several mentions of the slew of kids the couple will produce.

3:00-Head to reception and don't trust that father-in-law knows the way. We follow the husband of the step sister of the bride. We figure he would get us there, but he stops at a convenience store so we follow father-in-law and make it to the Country Club in time for the cocktail hour. Drink and eat cute appetizers. Instead of putting the appertizers on a buffet, waiters walk around with trays of coconut shrimp and beef wellington puffs. I take several at a time and probably look like a pig. Family pictures are snapped and dinner will be served soon.

There is a bunch of wedding reception stuff that occurs but the timeline becomes fuzzy as the number of drinks consumed increases. There is bride/father dance which tears me up and I'm crying. The groom/mother dance is next. They really like Country music here. We eat a buffet dinner with beef tips and stuffed chicken. The party starts to lag a little. But you can count on Mary Jo to get things shaking. Mother of the bride pleads with Mary Jo to dance. She does and it is infectious. There's the Electric Slide, The Cha-Cha Slide, The Conga line. All the stupid stuff that you only do when you're drunk at a wedding. And the party is not a party until a tie is on the head of at least one partygoer. There he is. There is another guy who creeped me out the way he danced with the woman. You could tell they didn't know each other too well. And It looked like her was undressing her with his eyes and could not take his eyes off her cleavage. My father-in-law is now boogeying down. WE are cracking up at him, he looks so serious. My husband really wants to make a statement because the groom is a big Florida Gators fan and has an ice sculpture of a Gator out for display. We carve the initials S and U under the big F on the Ice Gator's shirt. My 19 year old junvenile deliquent nephew is there and he's hitting on married girls. I still remember him as the cute freckled face kid I first met at a family wedding when my husband and I first started going out about 14 years ago. He catches the garter belt. A large girl catches the bouquet and it's a little akward watching our nephew involved in the tradition of garter placed on the bouquet catchers leg. (Aside-this was not done at my wedding as a 12 year old girl caught the bouquet). Nephew wants to stay at reception and tries to talk his way to riding back with us. But we're ready to go by 8:30. A long reception in my opinion.

9:00-Back to hotel to hang out by pool and visit with family. We retire to room at about 10:30 because we have a 7:10 am flight out of Orlando tomorrow. Yes, you hear me right. Let's do the math. 3 hour drive to airport, need to get to airport 2 hours before flight. This requires leaving Naples at 2:00 am and driving to Orlando to get to airport by 5:00. We watch the superb ending of the Duke-Carolina basketball game and hit the sheets.

March 5 2:00 am-Groggily get up and drive to Orlando. We make it by the skin of our teeth. Fly home and are back by 9:00 am. We sleep for the next 6 hours straight. Go pick up puppy at puppy sitters house and then time for bed.

See what I mean, All in the same day!