If I Knew This Would be in the Job Description....

Oh, glorious motherhood!

Lately I have been reading some blogs of those brave mothers out there who approach motherhood with a sometimes brutal honesty, but most importantly with such a fine sense of humor. I have to say that I MAY shoot daggers in your eyes if you try to tell me that motherhood is the most natural and beautiful experience. Right before I gave birth, my cousin's wife who had just had a baby several months before gave me this crock of bullshit. Imagine my utter feelings of failure and inadequacy when I brought my baby home from the hospital and thought to myself "WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST GET MYSELF INTO??" Then, I felt guilty for feeling this way. I couldn't understand why this Mom was able to feel so wonderful and peaceful with motherhood, and here I was wondering if I had made a terrible mistake.

Fortunately, I came to realize that I was not alone in these thoughts of doubts. There are many new moms out there who have these doubts too. And some moms need extra special help to overcome postpartum depression (Yeah, I said it Mr. Cruisey Crazy) I also have come to accept that you don't have to be SUPERMOM to be a good mother. Hell, being a good mother in my opinion is a continual learning process. Just when you think you got it all figured out, your kid throws you a wicked curve ball and you have to tackle another hurdle towards the finish line of the Perfect Parent race. (my apologies for the mixed metaphors-baseball, football, track & field-I got the sporting metaphors covered). Sometimes I yell and lose my temper. Sometimes I'm not always available to my kid's every whim and desire. Sometimes I feed her ice cream for breakfast (it is part of the dairy group afterall). But underneath it all I ALWAYS love my kid-unconditionally.

This past week presented a very minor medical issue for my daughter, if you can really call it that. Basically, she was constipated and as a result kept holding it in until it became very uncomfortable and slightly painful. I must admit, I feel slightly embarrassed to be posting about constipation, but other brave bloggers out there have explored this subject at great length. Therefore I feel, just like the admission that motherhood is not always a bed of roses, that I have blogger permission to discuss such a subject without fear of embarrassment or shame. First, I tried a natural method-mineral oil. I had great hopes that once the mineral oil kicked it I would be up in the middle of the night to comfort my pooping daughter. But it still did not happen.

I finally called the doctor to get some medical advice and was advised to get Children's Fleet. For those of you who are regular and don't have to worry about constipation, this is an old fashioned enema. I stressed out the whole drive from the drugstore to home because I had never even used a rectal thermometer on my daughter, much less an enema. I carefully read and followed the directions on the box, showing the diagrams of the child on their knees with his ass sticking up in the air to my daughter. I explained what was going to happen and that is wasn't going to hurt really, but might feel a little weird and uncomfortable, but trust me once it is all over she would feel much better. I will not go any further into step by step details, but needless to say the process was a flying success-figuratively, not literally. We finally have POOP! I never thought that I would feel relief and rejoice at such a normal everyday bodily function.

If I only knew that giving an enema would be in the job description for motherhood......

I would still do it all over again, but after this I think I need a raise or at least some vacation time.