On the Radio

I love my radio station.

Wait a minute….radio station?
Does anyone even listen to the radio any more?

What with the proliferation of ipods, itunes, burn your own cd mixes, satellite radio, XM streaming, etc it is unlikely that there is still an audience for the old FM waves. I guess those of you who don’t have ipods or cd players (or cassette-file that in the dinosaur age along w/8 tracks) in your cars may still scan the dial for the best song or the least talk. You’ve got to admit it’s slim pickins’ out there. Some program manager, or worse yet some corporate conglomerate like Clear Channel, seems to think they know what Joe (or Jane hey I’m equal opportunity) Q. Public wants to listen to. Yes, yes, yes we want to hear the same song, by the same artist, in some cases in the same order day in and day out. It’s nauseating!

First I have to give a rundown of my life experience with radio. Some of my best memories are driving in the backseat of our family car listening to the tunes of the time. Luckily my dad had excellent & eclectic taste in music (Thank you dad for the Beatles & the Doors when I was just a tot) so our radio dial was usually set to a decent station- back in day when radio stations weren’t so compartmentalized and categorized. You’ve now got classic rock, oldies, country, pop, hip hop, soft rock (or variety as they like to call it) stations across your FM dial. I’ve got to admit I like some classic rock, Hey, I even like some county (not the Nashville factory “let’s get a great songwriter but have some image driven performer record it and call it their own” country) I’m talking Johnny (they got money but they don’t got Cash), Hank (not Jr.), and Willie (c’mon IRS/DEA leave the guy alone). I like some oldies too-but c’mon not the same old tired songs that are played over and over again. There's gotta be some new oldies out there. Anyway, it’s funny how many of the songs from the 1970’s can bring me back to that backseat-arguing with my sister or brother about being on my side or asking my parents for the umpteenth time “are we there yet? (I know that joke is as tired and old as the Freebird jokes that are often heard at music concerts). I kid, though, those songs bring me back to a special place that isn’t as complicated and scary as things become when you grow up.

Another memory I have with radio was a childhood friend whose mother was the general manager of an AM station. What? Yes, there are still AM stations but they have been relegated to talk radio (Rush is right! Ok, Al Franken is forgiven) or worse yet some bible thumping preacher whose voice tells us to “repent or die sinner” over the AM airwaves. If you haven’t listened to this, you should. Just to scare the crap out of you.

Anyway it’s circa 1981 and AM must still have an audience because Kay’s Mom is General Manager and never home. So, needless to say I’m spending the night at Kay’s again and we’re getting into mischief because there is no adult supervision. I have to admit if her mother were there we probably wouldn’t have been supervised much better. She was (at time I thought) the coolest mom. She drove a little Spider convertible, she had blonde hair, she was single, and she let Kay do whatever she wanted. It was under the influence of Kay (I’m a good girl with a very bad streak) that I was pushed into the depths of delinquency-minor depths by today’s standards mind you. Prank calls to strip clubs inquiring about job opportunities and unsuspecting phone answerers in my best accent“Is Pablo there? He made baby and gave me number? Please give me Pablo!” (I’m a very good actress I would have some of those unsuspecting prank call victims almost in tears). Finding her mother’s porn mags and vibrator under her bedroom mattress and giggling like schoolgirls-wait we were school girls. Eating cake batter instead of dinner. Jumping on Karen’s waterbed. Pretending our stick pretzels were cigarettes. (The real butts were still to come, but that’s another story)

But I digress, AM radio station W%&*# got rid of some of their vinyl record albums and I got my pick. Donnie & Marie, Maria Muldair, Judy Collins, Oh, the Queens of AM! (Yes, I know I mentioned Donnie in there with those queens) W%&*# let us record an advertising spot. It was around Christmas time and they sped up our voices to sound like elves-my 15 seconds of fame-I was on the radio. Going to Octoberfest as a special radio station guest. We were special. My friendship w/Kay eventually ended much to my parents delight. I think the final straw was when we stupidly gave one of prank call victims my home number and ended up getting calls from Tom and Tim twin high school football players. I was grounded. Or it might have been when Kay stole walkie talkies from the fat girl who we pretended to be friends with because she had a cool loft in her room and lots of stuff. We were mean.

Moving on though my next radio themed memory is where I’ll eventually turn full circle to why I love my radio station. WFIT-the college radio station for the Florida Institute of Technology. What would a bunch of geeky college tech students know about cool music you might ask? Well I’ll tell you-someone knew something. I know there are still college radio stations out there that offer better playlists than your mainstream stations, but to be honest they tend to be a little too eclectic. But WFIT had the goods. That’s where I heard Rock Lobster before the B-52’s came out with Love Shack (that infamous wedding song that is second to the conga line, the chicken dance, the hokey pokey) The Smiths, the Cure, New Order, OMD, the Psychedelic Furs. Good ole 80s alternative rock. Don’t’ they call it adult alternative now? Am I an adult now? 80s music gets a bad rap because we only think of Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, Flock of Seagulls, Duran Duran when we think of 80s music or one hit wonders like Wang Chung (although they are getting to Hit Me Baby One More Time). Oh but there was so much more that that decade has to offer. There was even some rebellious stuff-Minor Threat, Black Flag, Motorhead- that FIT played. We waited every Saturday for Andy’s 2:00 afternoon show. He played the Andy Griffith whistle theme before the show and strangely enough my best friend ended up dating him years later. Who would have thought? Doug Dazzle was another DJ who would spin the vinyl for us late at night. I actually ended up serving him in a downtown restaurant years later when I was waitressing. Funny thing was that he was a mailman during the day.

As times change, so do musical tastes I suppose. As I became disillusioned with the music I had grown to love, I branched out to other bands. I guess you can call me an old deadhead now. Not the 1960s, 1970s or even 1980s Deadhead. I didn’t see them until 1989 and believe me I made up for lost time by following them to every venue the east coast or Midwest had to offer. I saw cities like Chicago, St. Louis, Louisville, Columbus, Indianapolis (ok not all of them were exciting, except for the little Motel 6 near the Merita outlet bakery that smelled so good in the morning with all that cheap bread available for the pickins) Don’t forget New York City and Long Island too! I might never have traveled to some of these places if not for the good ole Grateful Dead. Strike that, I would have made it to Chicago and New York most likely. Anyway, that started me on another musical adventure that I really cherish. After the Grateful Dead ended with the death of Papa Jerry I did broaden my tastes. I like “jambands” but also dig jazz, bluegrass, blues, roots and any combination thereof. But most of that music is not what I grew up with. It’s not necessarily the “soundtrack of my childhood”. So this brings me to why I love my radio station.

The River used to be an oldies station, and not a very good one at that. They have potential to play some great stuff, but relegated their playlist to safe music- ad naseum. Even during their request lunch hour they refused to play anything too obscure that might not appease the masses-even if it is a Beatles song.

Me: I’d like to request Should’ve Know Better? editorial note: mind you it's not Revolution #9 which would violate the law of Radioland
DJ (in best sounding DJ voice): Wouldn’t you rather hear "I Wanna Hold Your Hand? "
Me: No! I heard that earlier today, and the day before that, and the day before that, etc.. What’s an all request hour if you’re not going to take my request?

Then one day as I was flipping through the stations (I do have a cassette player (yes I need a new car) and a portable CD player in my car, but I have to admit I am not that decisive and hate to have to pick something out sometimes, especially in the morning) the station format was now gospel. Hmmm…interesting switch. Then the next day it was the River-where all musical streams diverge and flow towards the ocean that is music. Pleasant surpise.

I have to admit I don’t love everything the River plays. Not into John Mayer (they play "Your Body is a Wonderland" a little too much), or Hoobastank, Bare Naked Ladies and some of those other "hip" artists/groups. But I love my radio station for the deep cuts-obscure songs from bands I only heard WFIT play.

They love REM, they love the Cure. But instead of hearing "Orange Crush" or "Just Like Heaven" ( I do like those songs, don't get me wrong) I get to hear "Driver" 8 or "Catepillar."

I love my radio station because they play the Stones and Van Morrison. But instead of hearing "Brown Sugar" or "Brown Eyed Girl" for the umpteenth time I might hear "Tumbling Dice" or "Moonshine Whiskey"(ok, I made that one up, I haven’t heard them play that one yet but they have played " Jackie Wilson Said" -which incidentally I have heard on numerous occasions playing over supermarket speakers so it must be popular)

So, for those of you who are brave enough to surf the radio waves these days you just might find a river that will take you where you want to go. I recently was on vacation in the Delaware/Maryland shore and found a radio station called The River. Only they played Foreigner instead of New Order. Sadly, I have to mention that after browsing the website (which tells you the artist & song and other cool links to discographies & bios-not chattering DJ to provide that service) that The River is operated by Clear Channel-the anti-Christ of radio communications. So I’m now torn. All that I thought Clear Channel stood for-the play lists, the categorization, the stupid DJ banter-has been shaken by the River. I guess they are tapping into a market and giving them what they want -until it becomes unfashionable or un-hip, or worse yet unprofitable. Until then I will float along the river remembering those carefree days of youth when radio was pretty much the main outlet for music. Is it good that we have so many choices? Some would say yes, others might be skeptical, while some others would emphatically say NO!.The important lesson for me is to choose wisely, I guess?